classicgames.org - Kingdom Games

The latest in the booming industry of Bible-related software, Kingdom Games is a conglomeration of ten thrilling Bible games that are exactly alike.

The exceptions to the above generalization are "Money Wheel", "Jesus Clock", "Real Life Game".

"Real Life Game" is a 100% accurate simulation of daily life in a Christian fundamentalist fantasy world. The simulation requires you to answer questions to determine your income, such as "How old are you?", "Are you a college grad?", and "Are you a Christian?". The game comes with a built-in evangelism engine. For instance, if you answer that you are not a Christian and you would like to be, it gives you pages and pages of preaching, imploring you to convert as soon as possible. If you answer that you are not a Christian and you do not wish to become one, it simply stacks the cards against you during the game, creating disasters for you to cope with.

The game consists mostly of taking out loans, paying your taxes and bills, going to work, et cetera. In addition to all of that, every turn the game asks you how much money you are willing to give to God. The more money you give to God, the more likely you are to win the lottery.

Fortunately, researchers at classicgames.org have found a super-secret loophole to help you finish the game. When it asks you how much you want to give to God, typing in a negative number causes God to give that much to you (see figure 1).

The game "Money Wheel" is exactly like Wheel of Fortune, except you complete a phrase from the Bible. Exciting.

When I saw "Jesus Clock", I was immediately reminded of the clock which Hannibal Lecter (the fictional serial murderer of "Silence of the Lambs" fame) attempted to patent. Hannibal's clock was much like the Mickey Mouse clock, except that Jesus was on the cross and his hands were pointing to the correct time. To my dismay, the program "Jesus Clock" is nothing like that. It simply displays the current time with the message "Jesus love you all the time!"

The other seven games are all exactly the same. Each one is a slight variation of a game where you must look through your Bible to complete a passage displayed onscreen.

I must say that this is truly the best collection of ten Bible games written in BASIC that I have ever played.

Posted by Darius on 2000-08-17

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